A loud thud broke the silence of the house as thick soles landed on the wooden floor. Calian’s breathing was ragged as he slipped through the window sill. The for sale sign had mocked him as he passed it, so he knocked it to the ground in return.

His hand rested lightly against the open window as he waited for his eyes to adjust to the sea of darkness before him. He felt, for a moment, that he stood on the ocean floor, the pale light from the moon unable to crack through the dark. However, he could still see the large sphere above him. 

He took a glance at his watch: 2:30. His body resembled a balloon as the stress left it. Calian reached out to prop up the window with a nearby stick before he finally loosened his grip on the sill. The dark turned the house into a different entity altogether. The warmth it had once held during the victory dinner of their third peewee baseball victory was gone. Of course, they had never won another game after that one, and the victory dinners had stopped. 

Calian tore his eyes from the dining table in front of him. If he let himself get caught in the past here, he might never leave. His eyes adjusted slowly to the stagnant, dark of the house. A large bowl of fruit sat in the middle of the table. For a moment, faces seemed to flicker over the apples in the bowl.

No, he was letting his thoughts run away, again. Across from the dining table was the family room. He stuck to the wall on his left, not allowing himself to think about how they’d sneak into the room on the other side and giggle to themselves as her parents looked for them. As he passed to the stairs ahead, he noted that the ornate door to the office had stayed the same.

The upstairs was nothing more than a glorified hallway. His hand trailed over the railing as he scaled the height. The bathroom was lonesome on his left, with four rooms on his right. Though, the first on the left had always been filled with old awards and boxes they had never gotten around to unpacking. Calian let in a deep breath before continuing on. The last room on the left was hers.

Once inside, he let the heavy bag on his back slip to the floor and sat on the neat bed. His fingers moved over the bedding, finding the only imperfection in the entire room. A string frayed on the edge of the bed sheet. His fingers pulled and wound around the string as a tightness grew in his chest. He looked at nothing particular in the room.

“Do you remember when we had that project in history class?” A smile grew on his face as he spoke. We were so focused on bringing in food, we forgot to do your half of the project. Mrs. Tanner still gave us a B, though. She really liked the food. Guess it all worked out in the end.” 

The smile fell and he let go of the string.

“Oh! I brought you something.” 

Calian looked through his bag before bringing out a small jewelry box.

“You gave this to me after Becky Johnson shot down my promposal.” A sigh. “But, you already knew that.” 

He opened the box and set the simple, black ring on the edge of the bed. Still nothing. A tone rang out, interrupting the silence, and he pulled his phone out to a call screen. He let the ringing go on until the phone flicked to show the time: 2:58. Messages followed the call; Calian, please pick up. We need to know you’re okay. Instead, Calian turned his phone to vibrate and placed it back in his pocket. 

He reached for the ring and placed it back in the box before setting it down on the bed again. Still nothing. He left for the door. Outside the room, the hallway was much darker than it had just been. A distant thumping began from further down and Calian looked back at the ring. The tightness in his chest dissipated for a moment, and he rushed to his bag. With a small flashlight now in hand, he ventured out into the hallway to find the source of the growing pounding. 

The guest bedroom. Before him stood a wonted, brown door. The loud bangs echoed through the house. His hand lifted to turn the door's knob before he walked inside. Without the wooden barrier, he could feel the vibrations from the pounding. Calian wasn't sure what he had been expecting, all he saw now was a shadow of what the room had been. His mind did its best to wander, reminding him of sleep overs where they would stay up too late. The artwork that had once hung over the desk was gone, replaced by a painting of a stoic farm. 

A dresser sat in place of the desk, with a bed and the closet opposite. Calian walked in further, the light trailed across the room as he searched for the source. The light shook and then paused. Beside the vacant bed sat a small child. It was hunched over, and shadows clung to its skin, highlighting its malnourished frame. A small arm moved in beat with the pounding. Slowly, slowly, rapidly, then slowly once more. 

Calian’s hand shot to cover the light, but the thumping had already stopped. The outline of the child turned to face him. In the dimmed light, their eyes looked like dark pits. The hand holding the flashlight felt hot, as the child looked at him. His heart skipped as they looked at one another. The child was completely silent, even as they stood from beside the bed. Calian hadn't heard of any children dying here. What was going on?

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were here. I was looking for a girl, would you know where she was?" 

His words fell over one another as they rushed to leave his mouth. The child was silent still, but Calian saw their arm move. He removed a finger from the flashlight allowing some of the light on to their pale face. Calian was sure it was a little boy. He had short, matted hair that stuck up. His skin hung tightly to his bones, and his clothes seemed oversized as they hung loosely over his tiny frame. The boy's face was motionless, with eyes that Calian could feel himself falling down. 

The boy's arm moved again. He held up a single finger to his body and moved it in a tight, circular motion. 

Alone

"What?" 

Calian's foot stuttered back to the door. The boy’s arm moved in the same rhythm as before. The circle went slowly, slowly, rapidly, and then slowly again. He stepped forward.  

Alone. Alone. Alone, alone, alone. Alone. 

Calian heard more than felt the thump as his back hit the door. He couldn't remember closing it behind him. The boy’s hand raised, and he pointed to Calian. He kept the flashlight on the boy, but his other hand moved to grab at the door. Instantly, he regretted moving his hand from the light. The light revealed tears on the boy’s face. The tears were just as black as the dark wells they came from.

His hand was frantic now as he searched for the handle. There. His hand gripped it. He just needed to turn the handle. The boy reached out, and his hand wrapped around Calian’s wrist. His grip was unwavering and his hand icy cold. Pain shot through Calian at the stark cold, and the flashlight dropped from his hand. It clattered to the floor as he looked into the boy’s eyes. He felt the cold fracture out from where their skin met. His thoughts weren’t his own as unwanted memories were pulled to the forefront. 

“Addie…” 

Calian’s voice came out hoarse. She was reflected in the boy’s dark pools. The day after his grandma had died. She said nothing, but sat down beside him on his bed. Calian looked over to her, shaking as he held tears back. Addie opened her arms towards him, and he fell into her letting the tears overtake him. 

The memory faded, and Calian sat on the same bed. He was alone now. The only light in the room came from behind his curtains. Silence hung heavy in the air as he stared through the floor. He was alone.

“No!” 

His voice sounded more like a whimper. The ice clawed to his shoulder, and he yanked back with a grunt. The boy held on. His vision was blocked by the scene, but Calian began to whip his body back and forth in an almost animalistic desperation. Sadness welled up within him and stung at his eyes before it turned to an anger that threatened to swallow him whole.

“I’m not, I’m not, I’m not!” 

His shoe connected with the side of the boy, finally ripping him from Calian’s wrist. The memory tore away from him. The child looked at him. He was still for a moment save for the liquid that poured down his face taking the memory with it. His gaunt face hung down before he returned to his spot beside the bed. And the thumping resumed. The beat inside Calian’s chest refused to slow as he grabbed the flashlight and held the door shut behind him. 

The door’s knob jingled and Calian found that his hand was shaking. He pulled the hand to his chest and silently swore at his own naivety. Warm steel hit against his chest, and Calian ignored as his hands sweat. It was naive to assume she would be the only one here. Still, Calian had researched for days before returning to the house. There shouldn’t be anyone else here. 

It would be easy to leave. He only needed to grab his backpack, and even then it only had things in it for the night. If he were to go, he could leave it all behind and move on. What would that mean for her? What would that say? Whatever else lurked in the house, he couldn’t leave knowing he had the chance to find her. Calian compromised with himself. He would search downstairs and then visit her room again, then he could leave.

Silent creaks emitted from the floor as he descended the stairs. With his flashlight now off, he kept close to the railing as he waded through the dark. His body shivered. The ground level of the house felt even colder than the upstairs just had. Sluggish steps carried him forward, and he imagined how it would feel to wrap himself up in a blanket and sleep. 

His arms held himself as he moved over the floor. The faint moonlight from the window had trouble reaching under the house’s waves. It broke through, but in the same way that the light did as you traveled deeper into the ocean. The hairs on his arm stood on alert as he moved closer to the office. A sense of relief washed over him as he reached the door. Before he was able to turn the knob on the door, he heard the sound of water running across the open room. He felt his chest seize. If he could have seen them, he was sure his knuckles would have been white as they gripped the flashlight. 

Calian swore at himself for hesitating. It could be her. Even still, he hadn’t overcome his last encounter. His chest contradicted itself; it felt tight, but his heart pounded. 

The water dripped fervently now, pulling his attention back to the kitchen. He could remember flooding the kitchen’s sink with her when they attempted to race boats out of the front door. There was a chance that she was calling out to him now. That had to be enough. 

His thoughts felt jumbled together as he walked the short distance to the kitchen. They resonated loudly inside his mind, and he thought that they must have come from outside of his own mind. 

Calian nearly tripped over his feet as he entered the kitchen. In front of the sink, stood a woman. He could see her hair coil around her. The small window above the sink did little to highlight her, but he could see the curls frame her face, and the soft blue light mirror off of her dark skin. For a long moment, his heart started to beat again as a rush of familiarity wound around him.

“Addie…” 

The water spilled onto the tiles below, but Addie didn’t flinch. She stood still. Calian crossed the distance between them, stopping as the water soaked into his shoes. He flicked his flashlight back on, and found the water pouring past him towards the carpeted family room. The light traveled up the stream and he felt a flicker of confusion as he saw the bottom of a long robe, the water soaking up the length. 

With a large motion, Addie turned from the window and crossed the distance between them engulfing him in a hug. Calian closed his eyes and let himself relax into her, his mind flicking through similar hugs. Her chest felt gaunt. The bones pressed against his face uncomfortably as he tried to rest his head as he always had. 

It wasn’t right. Nothing about this was right. Even the water had run past him to the family room, but they had run it straight towards the dining area. His hand gripped the flashlight and he moved to shine it towards Addie, but was caught. Her hand grasped onto his and he felt his body give way as she pushed her weight into him. Calian let out a breath as his body hit against the stove. Pain flared out from his lower back, and Add- no, not Addie. The woman took advantage of his shock. He felt something like a light kiss brush over his neck before it exploded into an intense pain. It was fast, disappearing as quickly as it had happened. He kicked out at the woman, but his legs refused to connect with her at this angle. Calian could feel himself fading quickly, although he wasn’t sure where. The woman let out a moan, and her fingers dug into his arms. 

The boy had felt cold-like being forgotten in the ocean, looking out with no land in sight. However, the woman felt scolding hot as his mind faded. He heard laughter in the distance joined by voices as if they were being watched by an audience. 

His eyes shut again, and he fought to keep them open. Behind his closed lids, he could see her again. They were both kids, but she cried as her parents scolded her as they stood beside the soaked carpet. 

“It was her idea.” He had said. “I didn’t even want to race.”

He came back for a moment. His throat felt sore, and he wondered if he had been screaming this whole time. Something jutted into his free hand, sending small pain signals to him. He wasn’t even sure why he could feel something so miniscule at this point. 

Gone again. The two of them were older now. Calian hugged her as she cried. 

“I wish you had been there. I can’t do this anymore.” 

He didn’t want to feel the tears again, the pain. The moment during the service where everyone had looked at him with the same face. 

“You should have known. You should have stopped it.”

Addie looked up from the hug. 

“Why didn’t you, Li Li? You let it happen. I needed you, and you weren’t there.” 

The words came from her mouth, but her voice felt different. 

A tone broke through the thick fog. 

The woman’s grip on his free arm had loosened. Calian jolted, pushing his weight against his wrist and letting the pain pull him back again. His wrist cried out, but he ignored it and craned his head to see it pushed against one of the stove’s knobs. He could already feel his eyes closing. Calian reached out to the knob and twisted it until he heard a click. The woman hadn’t noticed, the sound of slurping distracting her from anything else. 

With as much strength as he could muster, Calian pushed his arm forward. The woman was caught off guard. She had barely begun to turn when he beat the knob into the face. It stuck into the side of her cheek, and she jumped back screaming a guttural tone. Calian didn’t hesitate. With the light still shining, he raised the flashlight and hit her again. It was his turn to scream now, and he did. He was surprised at the anger he felt rising up inside himself. 

“It wasn’t me! It wasn’t my choice! It wasn’t, Addie, it wasn’t!” 

His throat burned, and he screamed at the pain he was feeling. No words accompanied him this time, only a sound comparable to the woman’s. 

The woman no longer resembled Addie. She stood up, now. The robe clung to her body, heavy, soaked in water from the ground. Her skin was pale, and her face looked gaunt. She ran to the sink with a whimper. The faucet’s water turned to a mist, surrounding her before she was gone altogether.

Calian could feel himself panting as he trudged to the sink and turned off the faucet. Whispers still twisted through the house, and without the surge of emotions, Calian was starting to feel a dull pain thum along his neck. He put a hand up to it, feeling the slick, red liquid and two small divots in his skin. Under the flashlight, he examined his hand. There wasn’t very much blood, perhaps because of the holes’ size. Calian pressed a part of his shirt against it regardless. 

Placing the flashlight under his arm, he fished his phone out and balanced it precariously on his hand so as not to upset his wrist. A message from his mom flicked over the screen: At least let us know you’re okay. He began to set it to vibrate again, but stopped. With a sigh, he pocketed the phone. 

Calian waited until he was sure the bleeding had stopped completely. He wasn’t sure how much blood the woman had taken, but he didn’t feel off. 

He moved away from the kitchen. As he stepped onto the soaked carpet, one of the whispers floated past his ear. The flashlight passed over the open area passing over the table until he heard laughter. Calian panned the light back, stopping over the fruit bowl. The apples in the bowl had morphed. The shadows of faces he had believed he had seen before lay in full view. They were twisted up into large smiles, the fruit laughing harder once he caught sight of them. Their mouths didn’t move, but he could hear stray thoughts float his way.

“I know where she is~” The voice was like a song, but Calian couldn’t decipher if the song was happy or sad.

He kept his distance from the bowl. There wasn’t very much he thought it could do, but after the last two he had seen, Calian didn’t want to risk it. 

“You don’t want to find her?” Their laughter surrounded him, and the voices sounded just as the ones he had heard a moment ago.

Calian relaxed his hold on the flashlight, but he didn’t dare to take his eyes off of the fruit. His hand was becoming sore from holding the tool, and there wasn’t a way for him to switch it to his wrist. He could still feel the pain thrum underneath the skin. 

“Where is she then?” The question came out ragged even to his own ears. 

“Shouldn’t you know? Were you actually her friend?” The snickering continued-swirled around him like a group of small nats. 

Calian shook his head, as if whipping the noise away. None of the fruit had moved since he had begun speaking to them, and he suspected they weren’t able to. He stepped back from the dining table. The laughter continued to weave around the lower level of the house, but Calian turned to face the office door behind him. This was it. If she wasn’t here, he wasn’t sure she would be anywhere. The whispers became frantic, and he heard the thumps from the upstairs intensify. 

The door swung open with ease. When he opened the ornate door, he was met by silence. It had to have been hours since the house had been dipped in blissful nothingness.

The room was just as barren as the rest. A window opposite to him was covered in a white sheet. Everything else had been removed. He couldn’t decide if they had taken the items or thrown them out. All that was left was a desk-he placed it as the same desk her dad used to work at-and a mirror. Calian stood in front of it. The short curls had been flattened on his head, but the harsh shine from the flashlight seemed to reflect off of the brown of his skin. Blood trailed from his neck down the side of his shirt. The mirror itself was ordinary in every sense. His eyes caught the glint from the glass. In the dark, they appeared like the glossy eyes of a shark. 

Calian turned away from the mirror. His body sagged as he began to speak. 

“Addie, please. I’ve been through a bit tonight, I just want to talk to you. Give me something, anything… ” 

The static quiet greeted him, and Calian waited within it. Finally, he hung his head and lightly hit the flashlight against the desk.

“Why did you have to go? I know it’s not fair of me to ask that, but it hu- it’s all that I can ever think of now. It wasn’t very fair to leave me alone either, so I guess we’re both at fault there. I only said it because I can’t even look at pictures of you anymore. I miss you so much, Addie.” Calian’s voice was thick in his throat and he heard it begin to shake. “Everyone says that it will get easier with time, but the longer you’re gone, the more I think about the things you would have loved to do.” 

When he stopped speaking, silence crashed down on him like a wave once more. There was no response. He slammed his hand on the desk. 

“Fuck Addie! And, now you won’t even answer me. You won’t even give me a sign that you’re there. I loved you so much, and you just left. I just feel...bad all the time now. My parents try, but they didn't see it. No one saw it! So why does everyone keep looking at me like I did it? They don’t know! Even your parents- they just packed up every memory, threw them out, and they left. It’s like no one even wants to remember you.” He waited for another moment. “I didn’t think you’d answer that.” 

Calian choked back his emotions and turned to leave the room. The mirror caught his attention from the corner of his eye as his reflection didn’t move with him. He found himself wishing that it had stayed still. Instead, a smile appeared on the reflection’s face as its faze met Calian’s; a smile that seemed to go on forever. His eyes were locked onto the glass. Pain shot through his legs as they strained to run, to move, anything that would take him from the mirror. But, he couldn’t. Even as the reflection took a step out of the mirror. He couldn’t. Another step. He couldn’t. As his reflection moved towards him, he couldn’t help but find it off. It moved as if it was just trying out walking for the first time. 

He couldn’t take it. He bolted from the room. A laugh sounded from behind him. It resembled broken nails caught in the garbage disposal. The hall seemed to eat the sound of Calian’s steps leaving the house in an unnatural stillness. The boy’s tune didn’t return.

The reflection gained on him quickly. He thought about turning for the window, but knew that he wouldn’t be able to make it. Even now, Calian still found himself seeking the solace of her room. Thoughts meshed together inside his head as he tried to think of what to do. His body was on autopilot, and he took the stairs. The reflection took the stairs with ease blocking him into the edge of the hallway. Calian twisted around and threw himself into the bathroom behind him. The creature pushed his fingers in before he slammed the door. A disfigured groan left it’s throat mangling itself into more laughter. 

“I know. You want her.” The words seemed full of effort as it spoke. It pushed against the door, reaching its fingers towards Calian. It’s voice was warped and his sentences short, as if he had just learned to speak. “Easier ways. Want to find her? Lay down. Sleep.” It let out a genuine laugh, as if it thought itself funny. Pounding followed the laughter, and then an eerie screech like nails on a chalkboard. Calian could hear the wood crack under the creature’s force. “She’s here. But, why doesn’t she come? She can, it’s easy. Maybe she doesn’t want you.”

 "Shut up!" 

The words were like knives against his throat. Calian’s eyes stung, as they tried to focus on the shapes in the dark. The fingers reached for him, each more desperate than the next. He couldn't stay like this until morning. His body was bound to give out. Even now he felt the strain the past nights had put on him. He wouldn't last half as long as he theorized. Another barrage came from the other side of the door. There wasn’t enough time to think.

“Will be okay soon.” The reflection almost sounded sad, but Calian guessed it had lost touch with what that meant long ago. 

There was nothing else to do. His only option was also the most foolish. The adrenaline coursing through him would have to last long enough. It had to. Calian waited for another assault to the door before he forced it open. The creature fell back, quickly recovering as Calian pushed forward to the railing. He heard it twist before launching for him. The long fingers wrapping around him like a snake. Pain shot through his hand where it gripped the flashlight. 

Without another thought, he began to beat the creature’s fingers with the light. Each hit noticeably drained the adrenaline that was left. Still, it tried to wrap around him. 

The last of his strength left his body as he bucked his torso over the railing, feeling wood push into his side and fill his nail as he gripped at it. The reflection had flown over. Though it tried to pull Calian to the bottom with it, it only managed to tear the back of his shirt. The sound was nothing compared to the nails that pierced his skin. The marks left on his skin nothing like the nails that he had just seen in the doorway. The light fell to the ground with the reflection. 

He hobbled forward, vulnerability slapping him in the face as the darkness greeted him. Below he heard the sound of wood crunching and scraping as the creature already began to recover. A hoarse cry left Calian’s throat. His hands felt along the wall in search of a door. Where were the doors? 

A dip. The door by the stairs-the boy’s room. His mind abandoned her room again, and his hands searched the wood becoming more desperate as he heard footsteps pound over the stairs. 

There!

He propelled forward, slamming the door shut and clicking the small lock. Calian was sure the reflection was throwing his entire weight into the door. He couldn’t just stand in the room waiting for it to reach him. 

“Come back. I want to hold you. We can lay together.” Soft taps replaced the violent bangs from before. If not for its distorted voice, Calian might have opened the door to it. He pressed himself to the wall, sliding to the corner of the room. His throat tightened as his mind fought against his body, trying to speak. After silence, the reflection let out a wail, throwing itself into the door again. 

The wall stuttered as Calian came across the closet. He pushed himself inside, shutting that door as well. His body sank against the wood. Addie never came. Not even to speak to him. Maybe the reflection outside the room was right. She didn’t want him. He had tried his best. But, all of his love didn’t do a thing. 

A tone interrupted his thoughts. Calian jumped as he heard the muted sound of his phone against the closet floor. He fished it out of his back pocket, a crack webbing out from the middle of the screen. He stared at the screen for a long moment, but he pressed the green button. 

“Calian?! Oh my god, baby where are you? We've been worried sick. Please tell me you’re coming home. Calian?” 

His eyes stung. Water trailed down the sides of his face in a stream as an ugly sob left his body. His body trembled hitting the wood in the small closet. Whatever came next, Calian couldn’t help but feel like he would carry tonight's scars with him. For now, the creature was static, just a background to her warm voice. 

"Hi, mom."